Late, random thoughts on the Oscars

I was at a fabulous Oscar-viewing party this year, hosted by my friends at Scene-Stealers and Lost in Reviews, so there were plenty of distractions during the telecast.  That was probably a good thing, as I can barely remember any specifics about the show.  And that’s not the alcohol talking, either….

  • Billy Crystal is like Oscar-host comfort food.  Even when his jokes fell flat, it was just so nice to have him around, I honestly didn’t mind.
  • The show itself was solid, professional, no-bullshit.  Admirable, but not much fun.  We need streakers and impromptu smooching and one-armed push-ups (not all at the same time…necessarily).
  • The only interesting things that happened all night were before and after the show – Sacha Baron Cohen dumping “ashes” on Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet, and Sean Young getting arrested for starting a fight at the Governor’s Ball.  Save it for the broadcast, people!
  • The one year they decide not to have Best Song performances is the one year there are only two nominees, and they’re both good.  Next year, it’ll be back to the likes of Phil Collins and Celine Dion, and we can schedule our bathroom breaks accordingly.
  • The Cirque du Soleil routine made absolutely no sense, but was kind of awesome nonetheless.  Which should be their official motto.
  • If Meryl Streep and Christopher Plummer can’t win every year, can they at least write everyone else’s speeches?  I can almost forgive Viola Davis losing, since it meant hearing Streep be her witty, charming self.
  • Is there a rehab program for Oscar producers who can’t stop with the pointless montages? Every year, we get this crap (what was Adam Sandler doing anywhere near an Oscar broadcast?).  At least this year, it didn’t suck up too much time.
  • You know what would be a great use of that time?  Letting the honorary/special Oscar winners be part of the show again.  Their absence is a continuing travesty.  Who wouldn’t want to hear James Earl Jones give an acceptance speech?
  • On a related note, winners on the telecast were actually allowed to accept their awards, without being played off by the orchestra after two seconds.  It’s nice that someone, somewhere remembered what this show is supposed to be about.
  • But seriously, no more Adam Sandler.  At least until he makes another Punch-Drunk Love.

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