Thanks to my friend Dan Lybarger for the name (learn more here)

What It Is
Robin Hardy’s long-awaited follow-up to his 1973 cult classic The Wicker Man.  This time, naive Christian missionaries from Texas travel to a Scottish village, where they’re invited to be the “Laddie” and the “May Queen” in a local festival.  You know the rest.

“Please welcome our guests, Brick and Fence Post”

Why I Saw It

My love for the original, coupled with my boiling hatred for the Neil LaBute/Nicolas Cage remake, made me curious to see what Hardy would bring to his classic 37 years later.  Also, Christopher Lee is in it.  You won’t believe what I’ve watched just to see him.

What I Learned

• Robin Hardy’s grasp of American culture comes from a mix of Michele Bachmann ads and Petticoat Junction.  I’m not convinced he’s ever been here.
• Having “a voice like an angel” apparently means being flat, breathy and completely lacking in stage presence.
• Hiring unkown actors for your lead roles only works if they can act.
• Even in a cameo, Christopher Lee owns everything he does.
  

  “I got paid thousands of dollars to stand here and babble for 2 minutes. And I am awesome at it.”

• Pasty, flabby Brits should keep their clothes on.
  

  Not a Britt Ekland in the bunch

• Honeysuckle Weeks is an actress, not a Harry Potter character.
• If you are famous and travel to Scotland, no one will notice if you don’t come back.
• People who haven’t seen The Wicker Man might actually have it ruined for them by these crappy remakes and sequels.
  

  This guy got off easy